xanthan gum

Say this is a family room and you’re a widow. Too wordy, too long. I like the format.

Gold-leaf shimmers in the darkness, like gild on the sleek of her back. We deal in treasure, here where wild things sway and luster lingers on the jaded stones – ...

This is quaint, but a bit redundant. I could make the same point in two or three lines. This could be so much better if you expanded it behind rhymes ...

Don't force rhyme, expand rhyming styles. Does this have a Poe influence?

Here whisks the butterfly named virgin, windowsill, it sits and stares into the darkness we all merge in, to where our passions sweep and surge in, before it sails on ...

the yellow-sickly pulp. These adjectives don't go with the mood. Nothing useless left - you're too good.

Yeah, so basically you're sort of hysterical.

Should I feel violated? Rapist! Moving on - meh. I hate you. You make it hard to critique a poem when say...the reader is fourteen and dating a crap poety ...

I can't stand anything otherwise. --Empri I'm all into the sun. I'm afraid ever since that storm way back in history I've been reluctant to accept thunder in my ears. ...

Okay, I can't listen to the audio because my computer is evil... But I can slather a useless comment on you. This is the best thing you've written in a ...

You have a wonderful reason to write. I think if you stay at this sight for a bit longer, you will soon develop a lot of writing skills. I encourage ...

You cut beer cakes over my wrists, and I wince - enchanted eyes, you watch my artwork and it burns you, I hope that it turns you away. This is ...

I know it was something cheap like that. I don't like the last two lines of the first stanza. I want to hear the echoes of his hooves in my ...

[Too short, I know.] I know the corners of his mouth, they bleed, they blaze, they search you out - you are the smoke he talks about, the dancing smoke ...

shackled with pumping veins, iron and oxygen - the heartstrings lead the way along the floor, down to the bedsheets where she's adorned her body in [blood and gore]. pearls ...